EXPLAINING THE MALE MIND
Turns out, the reason your guy behaves in ways that are so myterious to you is because what happens in his head is very different from what goes on in yours. Trust me, the explanations you’re about to read will bring a whole new level of understanding to your relationship.
In many ways, the sexes have grown more alike over time. Women pump iron; men help pick out china patterns. Women join the military; men get manicures. Even our minds are 99 percent identical, according to scientists. But the curious 1 percent is responsible for the big-time differences that we all know exist between the male and female genders.
Some of those disparities are the sources of minor frustrations; others, major sparks. “Men and women have very contrary ways of communicating and expressing love,” says Mona Lisa Schulz, MD, PhD, author of The New Feminine Brain. “By accepting our differences and making an effort to speak each other’s language, we should be able to get along better while still keeping things hot.”
In other words, simply figuring out where he’s coming from can prevent misunderstanding and fights. With the goal of awareness (and maybe empathizing) in mind, the expert explain the important dissimilarities in how men and women think. The reasons will astound you.
WOMEN have a keen sense of smell.
MEN don’t notice odors as much.
We may not be as strong as men, but our senses kick their senses’s asses — particularly smell, which is linked to emotions and memory (areas in which we are more advanced) and sex.
Women’s noses and brain circuits are especially sensitive just before ovulation — to both ordinary scents and male pheromones (chemicals released through male sweat). These increase a female’s sex drive at the time when she’s most likely to conceive, says Daniel G. Amen, MD, author of Sex of the Brain.
According to Allan Pease, author of Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps, anthropology comes into play here, too. “Odor aided in survival by alerting women to danger and enabling them to smell when fruits were ripe for gathering,” he says. Maybe men’s less evolved sense of smell explains why they take pleasure in farting contests… Hopefully, they’ll catch up to us soon.
WOMEN recall every romantic event in detail.
MEN …not so much.
Okay, quick: What do you remember about your first date with your boyfriend? Chances are, you can describe the night in vivid details — from the name of the dish you ordered to the color of the shirt he was wearing. Your boyfriend? You’re lucky if he can cough up what month it was. But that doesn’t mean the evening wasn’t important to him. Women just have better memories for emotional details.
“Women’s amygdala — the brain’s emotional trigger — is more easily activated by emotional nuances,” says Louann Brizendine, MD, author of The Female Brain. “During an emotional experience, the amygdala tags the details to be filed for long-term memory by the hippocampus, which is the memory center.” In guys, the tagging occurs, but the filing isn’t as intense.
This presents a bit of a paradox. Men have trouble remembering anniversaries and your friend’s name, but they can easily tick off an NBA player’s stats and the year Tiger Woods won his first Masters Tournament. The reason? Dudes’ minds are steel traps when it comes to facts, figures and competition.
“Men are more comfortable staying on their left brain, the analytical side, so they remember things in a stripped-down way,” explains Dr. Schulz. There is a benefit to this type of recall: By not remembering things in an emotional context, men hold fewer grudges.
WOMEN think about sex daily.
MEN think about it incessantly.
When a guy looks you in the boob instead of the eye during conversation, he’s not necessarily being rude. It’s simply his natural instinct taking over. According to Dr. Brizendine, 85 percent of 20- to 30-year-old males think about sex every couple of hours, while a randy thought creeps into a woman’s brain about once a day.
Men have more naughty thoughts because they have more room to house them. “Guys have twice as much brain space devoted to sexual feelings,” says Dr. Amen. They also have 10 to 100 times more testosterone, the hormone that fuels the brain’s sexual motor.
WOMEN cheat for the connection.
MEN cheat for the thrill.
Neither gender has a moral leg up on the other, and we both have the same mental plumbing: a limbic system, which is the brain’s emotional and sexual engine, and a frontal lobe, which puts the brake on it. The mitigating factor is the extra testosterone guys have, which makes them more impulsive and less likely to consider the consequences of an affair. Also factoring into the equation: Men’s minds are less active (women are constantly thinking and worriying), so they’re always seeking excitement, says Dr. Amen.
Woman philander when they feel the bond with their partner has been broken because, yep, they have more of the bonding hormone oxytocin. “That’s why they tend to opt for long-term affairs over one-night stand,” say Steven E. Rhoads, PhD, author of Taking Sex Differences Seriously.
WOMEN can quickly tell if someone’s upset.
MEN don’t pick up on sadness as easily.
Men ask women “What’s wrong babe?” about as often as they inquire “Did you just get a haircut, honey?” That’s to say, rarely. It’s not because they don’t care — they’re just not always good at picking up on others’ emotional distress. Women are much better at reading social cues, facial expressions, and body language.
There are two main reasons for this. First, the area of the brain in charge of gut feelings, called the insula, is larger and more active in females — hence, female intuition. So, too, are the mind’s mirror neurons. “The mirror neurons’ job is to reflect someone’s hand gestures, body postures, and facial expressions unconsciously,” says Dr. Brizendine. This enables women to empathize more quickly.
As dramatic as it sounds, if you really want your man to know you’re upset, shed a few tears. Scientist speculate that women evolved to sob four times more frequently than men because crying was the only sign of distress that actually caught a dude’s attention. Now that’s sad.
WOMEN are tuned in to relationship problems.
MEN don’t recognize issues as readily.
The same brain activity that tips us off when someone’s bummed also clues us in when there are problems in our relationships. Every time your guy avoids looking you in the eye or uses a dismissive tone of voice when talking to you, it sets off a siren in your brain, kicking into motion a flood of negative hormonal reactions. “Eventually, most women reach a point where they can’t stand it anymore,” says Dr. Amen. “Perhaps that’s why 75 percent of divorces are initiated by women.”
Even when men do finally recognize that something is amiss, they’ll hang in there longer and try to find a way to fix it. It boils down to the fact that women have more connectivity between their right (emotional) and left (analytical) brain. “Women think in emotional terms and worry more, while men, who are more left-brained, are more optimistic,” say Dr. Amen.
WOMEN know they’re lost immediately.
MEN don’t realize they’re lost for a long time.
Even more gas-guzzling than SUVs are men who drive around aimlessly, refusing to ask for directions. Since men have less access to the right (emotional) hemisphere, which allows one to see the big picture, it takes them longer to reach that “Where the hell are we point?” point. Their problem-solving nature keeps them glued to the map instead of stepping back and realizing they’re lost. (They read maps better, too.)
To some degree, guys also don’t think they’re lost because it doesn’t happen to them as often. “Brain scans show that men have a better sense of direction because they have better spatial skills,” says Pease.
WOMEN find problems where none exist.
MEN are more rational.
Though women are more tuned in to trouble in paradise, we also tend to find problems when there are none. There’s a simple explanation. “The anterior cingulate cortex [ACC], which is the worrywart center, is larger and more easily activated in women,” says Dr. Brizendine. And since we have more activity in the emotional centers of the brain, we read negativity into things more often. Basically, female brains were built to anticipate and spot danger so women could fiercely defend their babies.
Great for protecting little ones, not so great for navigating sticky modern-day romantic situations. Our ACC can sometimes pull a fast one on us, causing us to overreact when he doesn’t call for 24 hours or has dinner with his best gal pal. Brain scans show that women’s brains activate more than men’s in anticipation of fear or pain, and women find it harder than men to suppress their fear response (which explains why men tend to be braver).
Food for thought: If you know your mind makes you freak out unnecessarily, you can try to talk yourself out of irrational thoughts.
WOMEN express their heartache after a split.
MEN act like nothing’s wrong.
Personally, I’m not sure if this is 100% true though.
Post-breakup, most women are in meltdown mode. There’s lots of crying, plenty of nose-blowing, and heaps of ice cream. Men carry on with business as usual, no matter how many pieces their hearts have been smashed into.
Fair or not, we unravel in sad situations because we release more oxytocin. So when we lose someone we’re attached to, we feel it more than men do. “A breakup causes our brains’ feel-good neurochemicals — dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin — to plummet,” says Dr. Brizendine. If it’s any consolation, men do feel sadness after a romance ends…just not as much. Also, since they have less access to the emotional side of their brains, their rational side takes over.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” - Lao Tzu
I’m so sorry if you have misunderstood. It’s just that what I feel cannot be expressed in words. Because no words can tell you how much I love you. I know you’re confused in all the things I said; it’s contradictory, I know. But even though I have these worries, all those things just don’t matter because those worries are overruled by what I feel for you; and that is I love you. That is why when you asked me that if I still love you, I said I do without any hesitation. That is what I feel.
I want this relationship to last, that’s why I have many “this” and “that”; “what if” and “what about”. Nonetheless, I still have faith in you, in myself and in us. Honestly, I don’t know how to love a person. I don’t actually know if I have truly loved before — because if I already did, I should have no failed relationship. I love you and loving you in ways that I know and that is what important. I feel awkward when you asked me how I would know if I really love someone. Frankly my mind went blank for a moment. I say this to you again; I love you because I love to love you. Don’t ask how and why. I just do.
Don’t be misled by what I say or act, look deeper in me and feel what I feel. When you do — you will know that I really love you.
26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do…
26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do…
- Know how to make you smile when you are down.
- Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
- Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
- Give you the remote control during the game.
- Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
- Play with your hair.
- His hands always find yours.
- Be cute when he really wants something.
- Offer you plenty of massages.
- Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
- Never run out of love.
- Be funny, but know how to be serious.
- Realize he’s being funny when he needs to be serious.
- Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
- React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts .
- Smile a lot.
- Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn’t normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
- Appreciate you.
- Help others out.
- Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
- Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.
- Sing, even if he can’t.
- Have a creative sense of humor.
- Stare at you.
- Call for no reason.
- Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it.
How To shine your shoes at its shiniest
What you need:
- Wet Rug
- A Dry Rug
- A Shoe Polish (depends on the color of your shoe :p)
- A Shoe Brush
- and your Shoe
Step One: Prepare your Shoes
Wipe your shoes using a wet rug to remove dust and dirt. Then, follow with a dry rug to remove excess water.
Step Two: Time to Polish
Using your fingers, apply the polish on your shoes. There is a minimum amount of shoe polish being wasted for using your hand. There will be more polish on your shoes rather on the rug (don’t worry you can remove it using soap and water afterward but it is not advisable for those who have long nails T_T)
Step Three: Wait for it to dry
Waiting for about 3-5mins will enable your shoe polish to sink in your shoes. Enabling it to dry will help your shoes shine at its shiniest!
Step Four: Let it Shine!
Using a shoe brush, brush your shoes rapidly until all part of the shoe has no trace of your polish. Then using a dry and clean rug, wipe it in a circular motion
Then its done! You can now show-off your shoes at its shiniest
Ui bago sapatos mo! pabinyag!
Ten signs that you should not be together
When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it’s worth it for you.
1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person’s job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.
2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.
3. They don’t make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don’t require bending over backwards all the time, but a CERTAIN AMOUNT of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union.
4. They can’t fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet boys (potential for future relationship), I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are him with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at a summer crabfeast. If I’m really into him, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.
5. They are too controlling
It’s scary but I’ve seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes – its not bad cause guys wanted to have a “conservative-your-mine-only relationship” but its good not to push so far (if you know what I mean). Major problem is if he is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship, like he changes your behavioral characteristics. I admit that change in a relationship is good, but is better if you change not because he wants to but YOU want to.
6. The “what are we” conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it’s worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you’re ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.
7. They talk about plans that don’t involve you
If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don’t let yourself get too into this person. Go figures.
8. Your friends or family don’t like them
Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don’t take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It’s one thing if a person or two don’t get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider; then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.
9. They violated your trust
Whether it’s cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don’t give away easily, and once it’s gone it’s hard to get it back. We’ll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.
10. You practice “unbalanced dating”
Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you’re not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.
What would you add to the list? Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?
